Letter of Encouragement to my Future Self

Dear Future Laura,

It seems that only minutes ago I was consulting with past Laura, who is certainly not as well informed as us! Luckily, we are both older, wiser, and slightly more prepared for obstacles we will face. However, that's not to say that you won't encounter some hard times. Maybe you're reading this right now in a desperate attempt for help.

Well, you've come to the right place!

Regardless of whatever you're upset or stressed about right now, in 40 years you will be sitting in your mansion, counting your money, college just a distant, unimportant memory. But for real, just put your problem in perspective- is it really the end of the world? I'm 99% sure the answer is no unless we are having an apocalypse (and why then are you on this blog?!).

The most important thing to remember is that you have to power to change the outcome. If you're unhappy with something, then it's up to you to either change the problem or change your attitude. By letting an issue make you upset, you're letting it control you. And then you lose. And I know how much you hate losing.

So I advise you to take a step back, put things in perspective, eat some ice cream, make a plan, and execute. I know you love to mope, but moping doesn't change a dang thing. I believe in you! After all you are me, and I'm the best person I know!

Good luck and let me know how it went.

Best regards,
Past Laura

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Letter to my Former Self

Dear Past Laura,

College will not be as easy as you expected. You'll be sleep-deprived, slightly stressed, and overwhelmed, but along the way you'll have unforgettable experiences and learn more than you could have imagined.

But lucky for you, I've compiled a few pro tips to help you survive! First of all, don't expect to just breeze through your classes with minimal effort and a 4.0 GPA. That might have worked in high school, but in college you get out what you put in. DO NOT START HOMEWORK THE SUNDAY BEFORE. I know you will anyway, but seriously, when has that ever worked out?

Furthermore, don't spread yourself too thin. I know that right now working 30 hours a week seems like a wonderful idea, especially considering the paycheck. There comes a point where you have too much to do, too little time, and it makes you break down. Save more time for what is important, and that might not always mean work or school. Mental health and enjoying life is just as (if not more) valuable than money or grades.

Finally, you have much to learn in the realm of writing and rhetorical analysis. Right now, your skills are weak and you honestly would rather do anything than write an essay. Little do you know, that later you will actually slightly enjoy it! Crazy right? You even got paper of the week! The most important thing to remember in your writing journey is audience, audience, audience. Identifying the audience of your argument (or the argument you are analyzing) is crucial in identifying the author's purpose, the effectiveness of a text, and the reasons behind certain rhetorical strategies. Without considering the audience (or deciding on an ambiguous "general audience"), any analysis or public argument becomes vague and ineffective.

While this letter may be futile, I hope you take away one message: Prioritize your life effectively, and do the things that make you happy and balanced. But don't worry you'll do just fine! <3

Love,
Laura

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Reflective Essay Organizing Idea and Theis

Focusing on an Assignment: Through the process of writing my rhetorical analysis of a visual source, I learned how to analyze the intended audience, the occasion, and the effect of certain rhetorical strategies, and how the author uses these skills to achieve their purpose.

Comparing Experiences: When comparing experiences in English-109H with those of past english courses, my writing process is more refined in the areas of rhetorical analysis, revision, and prewriting, transforming me into a much more effective writer.

Strengths/Weaknesses: Through my experiences and growth in English-109H, I've struggled with time management and conciseness, but developed strengths in the areas of rhetorical analysis, revision, and prewriting.

Course Objectives: Though my time and experiences in English-109H, I've developed and refined important skills in the course objectives of "rhetorical awareness", "critical thinking and composing", "reflection and revision", and "conventions".

Writing Process/Self Perception: Through my experiences in English-109H, my writing process has expanded to include rhetorical situations, extensive prewriting, and beneficial revising, causing my perception of my own writing to dramatically improve.

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I believe the "Focusing on an Assignment" theme will be the most effective for my reflection because I personally connect to this one the most. After writing our second essay, something clicked in my mind and I understood the strategies we have been learning in class. This essay was a dramatic improvement over my first and I can easily highlight the differences in language and analysis to show how I have improved. I can also explain in detail how effective my paper was and how much this process taught me about rhetorical analysis.

Speaker: Me!

Occasion: A written reflection on what I have learned in English 109-H

Audience: Dr. Bell and my peers

Purpose: To convince my audience that I have improved and learned over my time in this class and demonstrate my growth

Subject: My second essay and the strategies and knowledge I used

Tone: Formal and academic, to demonstrate how seriously I took this course, which is appropriate my my audience (my professor)

Audience and Invention for My Reflective Essay

In my reflection, I wish to discuss with my reader my transformation as a writer and show the differences between my old strategies, and my new and improved skills. I plan to accomplish this by analyzing the change in my writing process and by providing details of what I have learned. Specific topics I wish to touch on include: prewriting, rhetorical context, PIE, revision, and motivation. I want the reader to understand how much I have grown as a writer and see a dramatic change in my skills.

My primary audience for this paper is Dr. Bell, who will be grading my reflection. She has already read my papers and has an idea of how my papers have improved. Also, she is aware of topics we have focused on in class, which I should definitely include to demonstrate my understanding of course objectives. Furthermore, I have a secondary audience of my classmates who might peer edit my paper. However, they don’t personally know my writings so I will have to make my reflection more detailed for clarity in this context. Because they are also writing a reflection, they understand the process of this paper and the course objectives, which makes it easier to understand.

I will organize my ideas in a logical sequence, by first explaining my writings at the beginning of the semester, then detailing how they have developed into what they are today. I will thoroughly develop these ideas by supporting them with quotes from the "Student's Guide" as well as from my own essays. This provides my points with adequate research and examples to convince the reader how my writing has improved.

My ethos with my readers will be more personal, as I know all my audience members from class. However, I still wish to keep a formal tone to demonstrate that I am taking this assignment and the class seriously. I can establish ethos by showing my dedication to the class and what we have learned as well as quoting credible sources to add support and reliability.

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Discovering Your Writing Process (Revised)

I would consider myself a heavy planner with a hint of procrastination. Depending on how much other homework I have, how much I'm working, and other general circumstances, I sometimes fall a bit more on the procrastination side. I'm more successful sitting down for a few hours and writing than splitting up the draft over a few days or weeks. While I attempt to write my draft earlier, I often start the Sunday before. That said, by this point I have already heavily planned my ideas, examples, and writing, so the actual draft does not take as long to write and is very near its final form.

Over the semester, I have gotten busier and therefore have become more of a procrastinator. However, I have tried to incorporate more of a revision process into my writing to combat the effects of procrastination. By still heavily planning my essay and leaving time for the revision process, I hope to still produce a well-written and effective essay despite my tendencies to procrastinate.

In the process of writing our second essay, a rhetorical analysis of a visual work, I developed my skills dramatically in considering the rhetorical context of a work to analyze the effectiveness. Although we also worked on this concept in the QRG, I really didn't apply this until the rhetorical analysis. After gaining this skill, I applied my knowledge in my public argument to consider my audience, the context, and what rhetorical strategies will be most effective.

My writing process first begins with identifying my audience, occasion, and purpose by writing a SOAPSTone. After that, I develop my ideas by making an outline and doing necessary research. Then, I construct a first draft that is very well developed; after making minor revisions and edits I am finished with my essay. This process stays mostly constant but the elements of my SOAPSTone and research vary with the project. Before this class, I never considered the rhetorical situation, but now that I do, my essays are much more effective.

This semester I did try to spend more time on the revision process and outlining. We used a variety of prewriting strategies, SOAPSTone, observation/inference charts, and outlines, that dramatically improved the content and organization of my essays. I also learned different revision strategies which improved my language and conventions. Overall, the skills I've learned this semester furthered my proficiency in writing and taught me how to become and more effective writer.

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Thanksgiving Political Cartoon

This cartoon is directly related to a current event, the refuge crisis, where many countries are restricting refugees from middle east countries due to recent terrorist attacks. The audience is Americans actively involved in politics with the power to make a difference. The message of this political cartoon is that the American pilgrims who came to the New World are similar to the refugees, in the fact that they are both fleeing persecution and they come to a new country needing help. The cartoon forces us to imagine if the pilgrims did not receive help from the Native Americans, in the same way we are denying help to the refugees. The purpose of this cartoon is to convince the audience that we should allow access to refugees and help them out the same way we were helped in our humble beginnings. To understand this cartoon, you have to understand the context of the story- the refugee crisis as well as the Thanksgiving story of the pilgrim and Native Americans.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/45/Interview_of_Samoset_with_the_Pilgrims.jpg

 

Thesis Statement for my Rhetorical Analysis

In order to most effectively reach and appeal to my audience of UA students, I created a straight- forward presentation to be shown by various health food organizations that uses emotional appeal, startling statistics, and a variety of visual strategies to convince students to make healthier choices here on campus.

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Background Research

Here is a link to my background research for my public argument.

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I commented on Kat's and Dee's documents.

5 Types of Public Arguments

Arguments come in many shapes and sizes and every rhetorical situation has several options for how to present the information. In class, we discussed 5 major types of arguments and how each contributed to the purpose of an argument as a whole.

Initially, the simple position (pro/con) argument presents both sides of a debate and weighs the positive and the negative to decide which is better. This type of argument works well where there are two clear sides with distinct qualities. To present my argument in this style, I would consider the pros and cons of processed food and then show how damaging junk food is to the human body.

Another style, a casual argument, shows a current problem and then presents a solution to said problem. This type of argument is very straightforward and works best when we have a major issue that needs to be addressed. If I decided to use a casual argument, I would discuss the problem of poor health and obesity in America and argue that cutting junk food would be the solution.

An evaluation argument looks at an existing policy and decides how that policy can be improved and expanded. This can be be an effective argument when the situation already has some type of system in place that has faults. To present an evaluation argument on my topic, I could discuss the institution of junk food in America and evaluate how it could be changed to benefit the citizens' health.

Furthermore, a proposal argument puts forth some sort of plan and then supports this plan in detail. This works best when a more complicated solution in necessary to the issue at hand. To use this style for my public argument, I would propose reforming the food industry in America, as well as the citizens themselves transforming their diets.

Finally, a refutation argument takes an existing viewpoint and proves it wrong in detail. This works best when there is a strong existing view to argue against. To use this style of argument, I would refute the view that junk food in America is not a big deal and that healthy options are available.

I think I would like to use a casual argument as a straightforward way to show how junk food directly contributes to obesity and poor health by examining the makeup of these foods and the processes behind them. The audience would realize directly how this food affects their body and hopefully be inspired to change their eating habits. I would like to use emotional appeals to make the audience feel disgusted and horrified by the processed foods and also logos to present convincing facts on why the audience should change their diet.

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Initial Thoughts About the Audience for my Argument

There is no such thing as a "general public" because every argument and rhetorical situation has a specific set of people they are targeting with their message. While it may be possible for a large amount of people to view the argument, there is always a subset of this potential audience that the message is meant for.

For my public argument, the audience can be initially limited to Americans, and more specifically, Americans who consume large amounts of processed food. I wish to influence those who are unaware of the dangers of consuming these products and those who have the misconception that they are really "not that bad". The stakeholders in this issue are on a large scale, the producers and stores of these products, but also the individual who makes the choice to buy them.

My audience will be very familiar with the products, but not necessarily how they are produced, what they contain, and what the long term effects on their body will be. Other people who already eat healthy, or have junk food occasionally may also encounter my argument. They already agree with my message so they are not part of my target audience.

Some people may be hostile to my message if they enjoy eating junk food and don't want to change their ways. Often times heavily overweight people don't like to admit they are the reason for their body, so suggesting their eating habits contributed could go over poorly. Others are ashamed and don't want to think about it. Another percentage just doesn't care how healthy they are, as long as they look good and don't think of the underlying health issues they may face.

To understand my argument, the audience will have to have basic knowledge of different nutritional values and ingredients, as well as a grasp on several different health issues. This can all be explained quite easily as I present my argument.

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My Proposed Public Argument

My public argument is concerning the processed food industry, and its connection to obesity and health issues in America. My argument will hopefully expose how terrible the food industry actually is and educate the audience on how the food is affecting their body. My purpose is to urge the reader to stop consuming processed food and to make healthier food choices. The audience for this public argument are Americans consuming large amounts of junk food in their daily lives who are uneducated on the issue.

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Analysis of YouTube Video

The tone of this visual is very somber and sad. Many elements contribute to this tone, including the black and white, tragic photos, the depressing music, and the facts about the hardship of the immigrants. If any of the elements were different, the whole tone of the visual would change, being less cohesive and sad.

I believe this video relies most heavily on emotional appeal.  The music, photos, and text of hardship all appeals to our sense of empathy for these people. We feel sadness when learning of their plight and this makes us want to help and listen to them.

Credibility in this video is established through the works citied at the end of the video. The creator cited several sources, but also showed she personally went to the organization she was talking about and interviewed experts in the subject. This adds ethos to her argument and makes us more likely to trust her.

The argument is structured by first presenting a thesis, proving that thesis, and then a call to action. This is very similar to how a written argument would be structured. The only difference is that the evidence is also in the form of photos.

The logos is arranged in a way where first we learn of the nationwide issue, then we learn how it is affecting our area, then we learn about organizations trying to fix the problem and the hardships they have faced. The pictures support the text and changing the order of them would mess up the evidence for the story.

The call to action is when the video urges the reader, that if they believe in the cause, they should join forces and help the immigrants as well. The sad images makes the viewer want to help these people and when a call to action is presented, the know how they can do that. The sad images show that more are dying every day.

In my video, I would use better language to add to the emotional appeal. Right now the facts are very straight forward and plain. However, by using more inflammatory language, the effect of the facts and images could be more dramatic.

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Rhetorical Analysis Reflection

This paper was a significant improvement upon my first one! My essay was better organized, more analytical, and overall had a more effective argument. I learned from this paper that I tend to ignore the audience at times, which is an important part of the rhetorical situation that I need to include. I also learned how helpful a concise, specific thesis can be to direct my argument and create a cohesive paper.

When writing this essay, I wish I had began a little earlier. I started my outline on the day it was due and wrote my essay the Sunday before the first draft was due. I was very stressed out at first, especially when I had no ideas a couple of days before I needed a completed first draft. Although everything turned out well and I wrote a good essay, I would have liked it better to start earlier and take my time.

Furthermore, I realized how important rhetoric is, in any source. When first looking at Humans of New York, I thought the premise was simple. However, when starting to examine HONY closer and discovering all the rhetoric, I found there was much more than initially meets the eye. There is rhetoric in almost all sources, if only you search for it!

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I commented on Michael's, Gabi's, and Katie's reflections

HONY Draft

My draft

I commented on Arrick's and Kat's drafts.

I consulted my boyfriend on my essay draft to get another perspective on my writing and ideas. He really liked my essay as a whole but mentioned that sometimes my sentences went on a little long or were too wordy to the point it obstructed my argument. Also, he suggested I add a couple more examples of specific photos to support my points!

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Thesis and Outline

Thesis: While Brandon Stanton aims to promote diversity and empower the individual, his main purpose is to inspire change by personalizing the faces of a current event, appealing to the emotions universal to the human condition.

My outline. 

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I commented on Gabi's, Katie's, and Alaina's outlines.

HONY Prewriting

For my prewriting, I started out with a basic SOAPSTone to organize the different rhetorical elements of HONY. I then created an "observation/inference chart" to get some ideas of Brandon Stanton's purpose and message. Finally, I brainstormed different rhetorical strategies Brandon uses so I can organize these ideas in my outline later.

My prewriting. I still need to finish my brainstorming!

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I commented on Michael's and Dee's prewriting.

Personal Reaction to HONY

I chose to analyze Humans of New York because of its uniqueness and complexity. When viewing the photos, I had a strong personal reaction to the emotion in the pictures and the stories he told. I loved the way he found the beauty in everyday people and how he has so much passion for life. I decided that HONY would be a great topic to write about because of how many photos I have to write about and analyze. I'm very excited to delve deeper into this photo collection!

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I commented on Katie's and Cati's blogs.

Student Essay Outline

Human sex-trafficking is a multi-billion dollar industry

-exploitation of individuals as commodity

-"Nefarious: Merchant of Souls"- documentary of sex trafficking insights

A)need to end human sex-trafficking by pathos

Uses emotions by showing images of victims being used and labeled as objects rather than humans

-dramatized reenactments to show dehumanization

A)shocks viewers with fashion shows

B)Metaphor of caged animals 

C)Shows hypocrisy to advocate for the end of trafficking

Appeals to emotions with commentary from clinical psychologist

A)gives insight on desperate nature

B) Victims being treated as animals again 

C)Forces viewers to focus on unnerving nature to make a difference

Uses cinematography effect to appeal to emotions

A)Rectangular frame fading, showing how victim retreats into themselves to escape the outside world

B)Creates the image that the viewer's own perspective is fading into invisibility

C) Places viewers in victims situation 

Image of narrowing circle as symbol for a tunnel

A)Mindset is like a tunnel lacking vision

B)Tool used to that hope is diminishing 

C)Fades to blackness to show the end of the light at the end of the tunnel

D)Heightened camera angle makes the viewer look down on the victim

E)Makes the viewer want to help the victim

Brazenness is the main effective strategy because it creates and emotional response

A)Provokes a desire to help victims 

B)Provides reasoning for a sense of action 

C) Shows that they are humans too (rehumanizes) 

I believe this essay is organized pretty well and adequately provides evidence for how the documentary uses pathos to deliver its message. Each topic sentence relates to the thesis and shows a different way the documentary uses emotional appeal to prove a point. I thought the paragraph on the tunnel was very well written and provides substantial insight on how different cinematography and metaphors affect the viewer. The evidence and conclusions were very strongly linked and the paragraph was organized logically with claims then evidence then link to thesis. On the other hand, the paragraph on the commentary with a clinical psychologist was weaker. The paragraph didn't really introduce any ideas that weren't stated in the previous paragraph (the metaphor of the victims with animals).Furthermore, the link to the thesis was very basic and already explained before.

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HONY Observations and Inferences

Observations:
-Speaker is Brandon Stanton
-Takes photos of people he meets on the street in New York
-Expanded to include people from all over the world
-Includes text post from subjects
-Includes a wide range of cultures and shows diversity
-Portrait style (on face and emotions)
-Shows both positive and negative emotions (range in tone)

Inferences:
-Wants to spread the beauty he sees in everyday life
-Wants to share the stories of others
-Highlights issues seen in society to make a political statement (ex. refuges in Europe)
-Uses portraits to emphasize emotions which makes a stronger point
-Promotes/supports diversity and inclusion
-Shows the beauty in those not typically accepted
-Empowers the individual

I find "Humans of New York" very fascinating and spent quite a long time looking at the portraits and readings the stories. The way Brandon Stanton shows emotion and the beauty of life through the people he meets really speaks to me. I also love hearing the stories of the people which adds insight and depth to who the strangers are. I'm also interested in how he has expanded his gallery to include people from other countries, to highlight different political events and issues. His photos make the issues more personal and add emotion and faces to stories on the news.

If I close to write about HONY for my essay I would focus on the message Brandon Stanton wants to convey and the purpose of his photographs. I would analyze how his photographs contribute to this message and what elements of these pictures make the strongest statements. Finally, I would analyze how each individual photograph contributes to the message and how they relate to each other and the collection as a whole.

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HONY SOAPSTone

In his blog "Humans of New York", Brandon Stanton shares stories by snapping riveting and insightful photographs of the people of New York and all around the world. His photos are posted on a variety of social media websites, such as Tumblr, Facebook, and Instagram in order to reach a large audience of people interested from almost every country imaginable. He chooses his subjects by wandering the streets, capturing the beauty he sees in everyday people. Originally, his purpose was to share this beauty with others, but now his blog has evolved to telling the stories of the people he finds and to educate the world on certain situations, such as refuges in Europe. His tone varies greatly from photo to photo, some serious and somber, others playful and happy, not just in the text but also
in the lighting and composition of his pictures.

https://c1.staticflickr.com/9/8470/8123781508_4fb9d73d03_b.jpg

#LikeAGirl SOAPSTone

In the Always "LikeAGirl" campaign, Lauren Greenfield uses an interview setup to expose stereotypes about girls and to challenge views placed upon us by society. By asking several teenage girls and boys what it means to run or throw "like a girl", Greenfield shows her audience (American society) how girls are thought of as weak and lesser, in order to make them question their own views on the topic. She then contrasts this perspective by asking young girls the same question, showing how they view a girl as strong and confident. This dramatic difference shows the audience how this view is not innate, but forced upon us by society as we grow older. This is mirrored by a shift from a mocking tone to a liberated confident tone, as the original teenage girls change how they run "like a girl".

http://christandpopculture.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/likeagirl_990-53ac344a0d839.jpg

Revised Blog 20

Revised Paragraph:
In her photo essay, Lauren Greenfield consistently uses the mirror metaphor to highlight our cultures shallow obsession with appearances. She portrays young girls and women judging themselves in the mirror, often with unhappy or disappointed expressions, occasionally with acceptance. Mirrors encompass our image and view of ourselves, and in our society, we base our self worth off of our reflection. However, this reflection fails to show us the depth of our person, but rather the superficial nature of our society. Greenfield's ironic use of mirrors emphasizes this obsession with our looks and not on the quality of our character. Although our society places so much value on them we rarely have time or desire for self reflection.

Outlining Brumberg's essay helped me focus on the important topics of rhetorical analyze and see how an effective rhetorical essay is structured and executed. Rewriting the paragraph from the outline made me focus on how an analysis like this is written and how to integrate all the key components. After I was done I went back and compared my paragraph to hers. I noticed Brumberg's mirror paragraph was organized a little cleaner and connected the message to the photos more clearly. I then edited my paragraph for improvements in word choice and structure.

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Word Cloud

Created on WordItOut.com

Group Rhetorical Analysis of Girl Culture

Group Outline. For my rewrite I choose to do that mirror paragraph.

In her photo essay, Lauren Greenfield consistently uses the mirror metaphor to highlight our cultures obsession with appearances. Mirrors encompass our image and view of ourselves, and in our society, we base our self worth off of our reflection. However, this reflection fails to show us the depth of our person, but rather the superficial nature of our society. Greenfield portrays young girls and women looking at themselves in the mirror, often with unhappy or disappointed expressions, sometimes with acceptance. This obsession with our looks and not on the quality of our character is emphasized in the ironic use of mirrors. Although our society places so much value on them we rarely have time or desire for self reflection.

I used several points of SOAPSTone to make sure my paragraph effectively analyzes the rhetoric of Lauren Greenfield's photo essay. I mentioned the speaker to show Lauren Greenfield's intentions of the symbols she used. Also, I focused on the subject of the mirror and the purpose behind this important metaphor to thoroughly explain the topic. I mentioned the anxious tone of the subjects to show Greenfield's own anxious tone about society's effect on young girls. Finally, I explained how Greenfield's audience is simply the culture that her subjects reflect, to show how this could happen to any of us.

http://orig03.deviantart.net/c572/f/2011/220/3/0/mirror_ghost_by_always29-d45wwly.jpg

I commented on Katie's and Alaina's blogs.

Visual Analysis of a Photo

I chose to analyze picture 9, which features two young girls, both slightly overweight and one being measured with a tape across her chest. The most interesting part of the photo, for me, was the expression on the girls' faces. They seem really nervous and apprehensive as they stare at the tape, anxious to see the measurements.

Greenfield uses framing to draw attention to the tape and make it the focus of the photo. The girls arms are used as lines to draw the eye in and all the gazes of the spectators are directly on the tape. This causes the viewer to look at the tape as the subject of the picture.

I believe Lauren Greenfield wants to emphasis how much weight and importance these girls place on their measurements to hi-light how much society values skinny girls. The girls seem desperate to have acceptable measurements, which is crazy considering how young they appear in the photo. This shows how "Girl Culture" causes young girls to have poor body image issues and low self esteem if they don't have the "perfect" body shown in the media.

Add http://v1.zonezero.com/exposiciones/fotografos/girlcult/images/chicas/07.jpg

A Reflection on Unit One

Unit One caused me to explore many new ideas and techniques but the most important had to be analyzing the rhetorical situation of my sources. Before, I would quote sources without giving much thought as to where they came from or who the author was. Now, I know how to examine a source and accurately discuss what the context of that source is and why that is significant. I discovered that communication in my field is often unclear and muddled by public rhetoric and misrepresentation,

I also gained new experience using different online resources, such as cluster diagram tools and social media searchers, and improved my editing skills for clarity in my writing. I learned that I tend to be very wordy and I must be carful that this doesn't hinder my message. In the Unit One assignment, I did very well with time management and did not leave everything up to the last minute. I also integrated my analysis very effectively and made sure that my QRG was not simply summary.

For the next project, I could improve on spending a bit more time mapping out my essay before writing to organize my ideas. This helps make sure my analysis and quotes are adequately supported and integrated and that all my points come across. The most important thing I learned from this unit is: It matters where your information comes from.                  

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Revised Paragraph

Before: Common Core standards were originally created to combat the problem of wide variations in what students were being taught from state to state. They sought to bring focus and direction to the learning environment and provide a clear, direct idea of when students should master certain topics. Simply a list of skills and information students should know, the Common Core standards left it up to the teachers with how this knowledge would be taught to the pupils. Karin Chenoweth, the “Writer-in-residence” for The Education Trust, explains that, “By setting out a coherent set of standards focused on fewer topics taught in more depth at any given grade, Common Core standards... help educators all over the country focus on what students need to learn rather than getting distracted by dozens of extraneous topics”. The intentions behind these standards were very logical and they aimed to further the education of our students and advance education in our country. Jordan Ellenberg, a professor of mathematics at University of Wisconsin clarifies that, “The Common Core doesn’t reinvent math education, but it does change its emphasis. The early-grade standards focus on speed, correctness and understanding in arithmetic, because students without that basis get kneecapped later by algebra and calculus.” The Common Core standards aim to set students up for success and prepare them for more advanced math classes.

After:Prominent mathematicians originally created Common Core standards to combat wide variations in what students were being taught from state to state. These standards sought to bring focus and direction to the learning environment and provide a clear, direct idea of when students should master certain topics. Because they simply featured skills and information students should know, Common Core allowed the teachers to decide how to present the information. Karin Chenoweth, the “Writer-in-residence” for The Education Trust, explains that, “By setting out a coherent set of standards focused on fewer topics taught in more depth at any given grade, Common Core standards... help educators all over the country focus on what students need to learn rather than getting distracted by dozens of extraneous topics”. The standard's intentions were very logical and aimed to further the education of students in our country. Jordan Ellenberg, a professor of mathematics at University of Wisconsin clarifies that, “The Common Core doesn’t reinvent math education, but it does change its emphasis. The early-grade standards focus on speed, correctness and understanding in arithmetic, because students without that basis get kneecapped later by algebra and calculus.” In this way, the Common Core standards set students up for success and prepare them for more advanced math classes.

To add clarity to my paragraph, I eliminated the passive voice in the first sentence and removed some extraneous words. I also changed the wording in the second sentence to a stronger, better worded verbs and made it more concise. In the 5th sentence, I changed "the intentions behind the standards" to "the standard's intentions" to keep a coherent subject throughout, and cleaned up the wording. Finally I changed the verb in the last sentence to eliminate awkward wording. My new paragraph, although it could still use some revisions on the ideas and flow, is now much more clear and concise, with fewer excess words.

Link to Revised QRG

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Is8Z7vnn4W7nyLrD6xXyam_SbtHRCLL39XQfFsecwHQ/edit?usp=sharing

Peer Review and Revised Thesis

The peer review really helped me see my own QRG from another perspective and gather helpful advice to improve my first draft. The peers who read my QRG wrote really important questions and gave me some things to clarify to make sure the reader fully understands the topic. I also enjoyed seeing more developed and further along QRGs as examples of excellent writing and organization. These examples helped me see how to structure my own QRG and encouraged me to work on my own further.

Thesis: These standards, in fact, may have valiant and pure intentions, yet the effects are muddled by misrepresentation in the media, political agendas, and flaws in the public school system.

Revised Thesis: While some argue that Common Core math standards complicate the learning process and others claim it benefits the students, these standards, in fact, may have valiant and pure intentions, yet the effects are muddled by misrepresentation in the media, political agendas, and flaws in the public school system.

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I commented on Kat's and Cati's blog!

Thoughts on Drafting

When creating a draft of a paper, it can often be overwhelming and intimidating to know where even to begin. Luckily, "A Student's Guide To First Year Writing" is here to help! In the "Drafting" section, the book explains in detail several helpful tips to create a solid, well-developed first draft that can be applied to a Quick Reference Guide in several ways.

The reading's section on thesis statements is very useful and it poses several important questions to consider such as how precise, specific, interesting, and accurate the these is in regards to the text. The "PIE" structure, for paragraph breakdowns is also an effective strategy to make sure all points made are supported and clearly related to the thesis. The tips on introduction and conclusion writing I found especially helpful as I personally struggle writing an engaging introduction paragraph and often fall into "certain traps". Finally, the organization section shared good ideas on how to connect different aspects of the topic into a coherent essay.

On the other hand, however, some tips do not apply to our Quick Reference Guide due to its unique organization and qualities. Because of the formatting of a QRG, often times different paragraphs will not directly relate to each other, or transition fluidly into different sections. Furthermore, while there is still a thesis, a QRG aims to educate, not to persuade and therefore must take a more objective stance on the issues.

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Practice Quoting

Legend:
Signal Phrases- Blue
Sources Authority- Purple
Contextualization- Yellow
Ellipses- Green

QRGs: The Genre

1) Each Quick Reference guide starts off with an introduction that quickly sums up what the guide will be discussing. Then it has several shorter sections with bolded titles, each pertaining to a more specific aspect of the topic in greater detail than the introduction. The guide often involves hyperlinks to other websites, quotes, and statistics.

2)The guide also is easy to read with larger text, defined sections, and pictures to make the article more visually appealing. Furthermore, the format flows quite easily with double spacing and sometimes colorful layouts.

3)The purpose of these QRGs seems to be to give the reader a wide ranging understanding of the topic including all sides so they are informed thoroughly. They are very in depth on the complexities of the issue and make sure to cover all important information.

4) The audience of these QRGs can vary depending on what topic they are on, but generally seem readable for the general public, because they assume you know nothing about the subject coming in. They normally can be understood by anyone interested in the issue.

5)The QRGs can use videos to show exactly what they are talking about, or pictures as diagrams to further explain the topic. Sometimes there is simply a picture to add visual interest and draw the reader in.

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Outline for QRG: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15t1lOuL5Sn9lXiWa9QqbEFbwP5q1p48ZKRj9IWJo6Tc/edit?usp=sharing

Reflection:
After looking at several of my peer's responses to the same questions I saw a few things I had not previously considered. I loved how Cora discussed the importance of visuals in a QRG and how they "add an extra layer of interaction" to further engage the reader in the topic. Delaneel's article has a very detailed and precise description of what elements and formats a QRG entailed, listing 5 major parts which I really enjoyed, as well as how his post was formatted like a QRG. Finally, I enjoyed how Gabi described the importance of a QRG and how it can replace looking through hundreds of pages for the same information, making it more convenient and accessible. 

Cluster of Common Core Controversy

In my cluster I used colors to specify what information is being presented. Purple designates what type of source it is, red shows the perspective, and green shows the authors viewpoint. I also split up the authors into supporters and critics.


Reflection:
After looking at my classmate's diagrams and topics, I discovered one cluster almost identical to my own and one completely different. Cati's  cluster also used Coggle and she similarly split the issue into two opposing viewpoints which I though made it easy to understand. On the other hand, Spencer's diagram was a bit more complex, but I enjoyed his use of color and shapes to clarify what information is presented. After looking at these cluster diagrams, I feel confident that I combined my favorite aspects of both into my own

I think that using these types of diagrams is a great way to organize your information and sources in order to better structure your essay later. However this can be kind of time consuming online and I feel it may be more beneficial to simply sketch one out on paper.

Annotated Bibliography Draft 2 in MLA

Chenoweth, Karin. "Wait, Tell Me Again What Common Core Is?" The Huffington Post. TheHuffingtonPost.com, 3 Sept. 2014. Web. 03 Sept. 2015.

This article seeks to clarify what actually is involved in the Common Core Standards and to assure

the audience of the real purpose of these standards. The author wants to soothe the fears of many

parents and educators by focusing on the facts of the matter and how the standards aim to help their

children and students. The writer references different studies and polls about these standards as well

as how they are meant to be applied. Chenoweth concludes that the Common Core Standards will

benefit students and teachers by uniforming when math topics will be taught in schools. I can use this

article as support for the Common Core Method as a helpful standard in our public school system.

Ellenberg, Jordan. "Meet the New Common Core." The New York Times. The New York Times, 15 June 2015. Web. 03 Sept. 2015.

This article aims to show the correlation between the supposed "corrupt" Common Core Standards

the new curriculums being adopted instead as states move away from this standard. The audience is 

primarily those actively involved and interested in this debate, mostly teachers, parents, and students 

affected. Ellenberg claims that although the Common Core Standards are being removed in some 

states, standardized testing is still in place, the topics are largely the same, and the methods of 

teachings are even identical. Even though she seems to be in support of the standards, she doesn't

believe they are being applied the same to every student. She employs different studies, testimonies, 

and even personal experiences to support her claims. I can use this article to discuss how these 

standards are essential to math teachings and their wide influence on future curriculums. 

Garland, Sarah. "The Man Behind Common Core Math." NPR. NPR, 29 Dec. 2014. Web. 13 Sept. 2015.

This article gives insight into the history and process of creating the new Common Core Standards. 

The audience is casual readers who are interested in the standards. The article seeks to show how the 

standards were created in order to show how misrepresented they are in the media and politics. It also

explains efforts to fix how the standards are being implemented into the schools are well as clarify 

the true purpose of these standards. I can use this article to support the good intentions behind the 

Common Core and prove how the media has twisted it's image. 

Hall, Miriam. "“It’s Not Like a Switch That You Can Flick on Overnight”: Four Teachers on Adapting to Common Core." Slate.com. N.p., 11 Sept. 2015. Web. 12 Sept. 2015.

This article seeks to explore the teacher perspective on the Common Core Standards, and to add
insight on the effects of these standards in the classroom. The audience is anyone interested on
at the issue from a teacher perspective. The article uses interview style and has questions with direct
quotes from the teachers. The teachers all seem to agree that the Common Core Standards give more
focus and direction to lessons and that there seems to be misconceptions about what these standards
actually entail. I could use this article to give a different angle and first hand account on the effects
of Common Core Standards directly from the source.

Jbrehm. "YSK That the Newer Methods of Teaching Math in Elementary Schools Has Nothing to Do with Common Core Standards, and That These New Methods Are Actually Vastly Improved Over The "Old Fashioned" Ways. • /r/YouShouldKnow." Reddit. N.p., 1 Apr. 2015. Web. 12 Sept. 2015.

This reddit post seeks to clarify what the Common Core Standards actually entail and to show the 

difference between Common Core and "new math" techniques. The post has hyperlinks to several 

other sources detailing more in depth information and seems to be just a general overview of the 

topic as well as hundreds of comments. The poster claims there is too much confusion and that 

people are inaccurately combining new teaching methods for math with the new curriculum when 

they actually have nothing to do with one another. I could use this post as clarification for the bad 

social media publicity the Common Core Standards receive. 

Kurtz, Stanley. "Jeb's Misleading Talk on Common Core." National Review Online. N.p., 10 Aug. 2015. Web. 13 Sept. 2015.

This article focuses more on the political aspects of the Common Core, and how politicians use this 

issue to gain support for their campaigns. The audience is more focused at people interested in 

politics and different issues brought up in the presidential campaigns. This article uses hyperlinks to 

provide more information on the topic. However this source seems very biased and seems bitter by 

claiming the Obama administration should not have created the Common Core Standards, with some 

strong choice words. I can use this article to show all the political controversy concerning this issue

and as another perspective rejecting the nationalization of such standards. 

Main, Laura Fricke. "Too Much Too Soon? Common Core Math Standards in the Early Years." Early Childhood Education Journal Early Childhood Educ J 40.2 (2011): 73-77. Google Scholar. Web. 03 Sept. 2015.

This article expresses concerns of the Common Core Standards being too rigorous, fast-paced, and

unclear, especially involving younger learners. The audience for this journal is mainly scholars and

academics interested in this controversy as well as those involved in early childhood education and

development. Main argues that the standards should be further researched and explored to tailor them

for early childhood education as not to overwhelm the students and to adjust for a variety of learning

speeds. She references many studies, researchers, organizations, and the standards themselves to

support her claims and provide additional information. I could use this article to provide a counter

argument of the Common Core System and to explore the faults and flaws in this new set of

standards.

Porter, A., J. Mcmaken, J. Hwang, and R. Yang. "Common Core Standards: The New U.S. Intended Curriculum." Educational Researcher 40.3 (2011): 103-16. Google Scholar. Web. 3 Sept. 2015

This article provides a technical and factual account of what exactly the Common Core Standards

entail, their goals, and their effect in the school system. The audience is definitely researchers and

policy makers for these standards, as the language is very dense and sophisticated. The study

discovered and explained the similarities and differences between the Common Core Standards and

state standards already in place with many charts, tables, and graphs. They concluded that great

change will be required to adopt these new standards and furthermore, that these standards will be

less focused in their scope. I could use this journal as data and support for the effects of the Common

Core Standards, as it is a factual and reliable study with solid conclusions.

Ravitch, Diane. "Now it seems that reformers want to reform their reforms...". 4 September 2015, 12:00 p.m. Facebook post.

This article links to a statement from Governor Cuomo, the governor of New York State, after 

problems concerning the Common Core Standards implementation into the school system. The 

audience is those unhappy with how these standards are being executed into the New York Schools.

Ravitch seems to be slightly mocking the efforts on how the the "reformers are reforming the

reforms". However, the actual statement from Governor Cuomo (which constitutes most of the post) 

brings up valid points of how the standards have good intentions, yet are just being implemented 

incorrectly. I can use this article to show how efforts are being made to fix the flaws in the Common 

Core Standards and how it could possibly succeed in the future. 

RichTopia (RichTopiaCom). "100-Year-Old Math Teacher Slams the 'Common Core' Method". 4 September 2015, 12:35 p.m. Tweet. 

This tweet links to a video of a 100 year old math teacher rejecting and criticizing the Common Core

Method of addition. The audience in this case is the general public, or anyone with a slight interest 

in this controversy. The math teacher concluded that the new standards make basic mathematics too 

complicated and that the Common Core was implemented too quickly without proper analysis of its 

effects. There was no official research in this source, and it is simply an opinion of someone with 

lots of experience in the field, but who may lack in depth knowledge of the topic. I could use this 

article to bring up an important issue of how the public views the Common Core Standards and their 

feelings and opinions.